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I love posing nude. For me, it’s not just liberating, its empowering, motivating, and self-loving.

In my journey to being and living my true self I realize that I do have an edge to my crazy. My instagram followers (and mother) see these outrageous photos of me posing nude in the backwoods of West Virginia. The photos are meant to induce inspiration, empowerment and in general, just a great photo.

Of course, you’ve gotta have your fair share of creepers.

{ I just want to take this moment and also point out that there is a photo of me getting married also on my profile}

I have been asked for secret nudie photos from some enthusiastic fans and I just wonder.

Is it possible for me to be finding my edge without you thinking I’m going to sleep with you or send you photos of my butt over instagram?

When I travel to big cities I like to wear my “play clothes”. In my humble closet I have dozens of fun-print stockings, mini skirts, 6” heels and so many bras and jackets that will always be a little more than eye catching. I put on my “city-ego” clothes and enjoy the night, pretending I normally live this way.

On a weekend escape in Pittsburgh with Jamie I had a rather edgy outfit on. Starting with my six-inch black stilettos, flower printed black stockings with built-in garter-esque features. A little black mini skirt, red tank top and an Italian white wool blazer. I call this look, classy slut.

Is it so wrong to want to feel sexy?

While in a certain venue a man walks up to me and asks if he can pay for a, eh, dance.

It was the highlight and low point of the night. “Yay I am sexy,” I think to myself and also “shit does this outfit make me look slutty?”

Bachelorette outfit – Pittsburgh

When I was a little girl my sisters would get compliments as “you are so pretty/beautiful”, I felt like I would eternally have to hear “you are so cute”.

Cute. Cute. Cute.

I even owned a tank top with surfer chicks that said “cute” on it. I hated cute. I wanted SEXY!

Sure, for a young girl cute was just fine, but even in college I still got “cute”.

I was on a mission to look, feel, and breath sexy!

Luckily Jamie came around and for the first time ever in my life I am allowed to be as sexy as I want, and have someone who thinks I am sexy in return. Woooo for me!

So here I am on Instagram, sharing all my beauties, and even though I am displaying artistically, I still get these woo’s from strange men across the world hoping they can get some.

Seriously, did everyone who looked at a photo of Marilyn Monroe think that she would give them a special peak of her booty? No.

This is my edge. It’s not an invitation.

***

In these recent years there’s been a lot of conversation about sexual edges. The very thin grey line that some of us dance across without even realizing it.

My biggest take, just because you think and feel and are a certain way does not at all mean that anyone else is like you. It’s very certain that family will not all have the same views and values as each other, or even married couples. We are all individuals with individual borders and edges.

Just because I like to dress a certain way does not mean I am in the sexual pleasure business (If you are there isn’t anything wrong with that!). Just because I am a nude model does not mean I am your cyber honey babe.

Respect that edge.

Everyone’s edge is unique.

My mom has a very different edge. Comparatively, her edge could be rainbow sprinkles on her vanilla ice cream to my rum-boat banana split. {Actually, she’d probably eat that with me}

This is where one edge may offend the other.

****

I have the almost exact opposite reaction on my instagram from other users. They block me.

Oh, the emotions and thoughts that run through the brain when the notification of “one new person has blocked you” pops up on the phone.

I am not a mean person, in fact, if anything, I am far too conscious of other people’s feelings.

WHY DO YOU BLOCK ME!

What have I done, how can I fix this for us? I am so sorry my bare back has caused you such grief!

In real life, I cause my parents this grief.

They too are not loving my exposed photos, my tattoos, the way I dress in a big city.

I’m sure they wished I would have stopped at classy, not classy slut.

They have a different edge.

But I am not offended by their edge.

I don’t go to nice people pages and block them because they are fully clothed. I don’t force my ideals about my life down anyone else’s throat, so why do I get bullied?

Why is the person finding the edge the wrong one?

I didn’t used to be so bold, well maybe not this publically at least.

I have several friends that I admire because they are so bold and edgy. One friend didn’t used to drink so much and I loved that. Her edge is more sober, but no less fun. Another friend of mine started to dye her hair and wear strappy-strap bras. Her edge is much more clothing edgy than me, but I love to look! Another friend is so bold and strong with her character and words. Her edge is a powerful one.

From all this wonderful exposure to a different way to live and be, I have pushed my edge, and I have scaled back my edge.

I’ve been thinking why is it so many of us feel the need to be so “out there” why can’t we just shut our edgy wonders into a closet and keep our mothers happy?

Just as any generation, the times have changed. Even my mom just before me still grew up and lives in a world where you make sacrifices for your family.

You live a normal life and you don’t rock the boat. You say please and thank you and abide by all civil law.

I am fortunate that my world is not surrounded by war and poverty (though there is plenty here in WV), and instead of wondering how will I eat for tomorrow, my problems are of a much more superficial, but no less real.

I spend my days wondering how can I really make myself stand out, how can I show to people I am actually wild and crazy in my heart? How can I be strong in myself?

I have to fall back on that my friends and parents will love me no matter what.

I don’t believe that if I live the life I choose then I am being selfish. I may make many people uncomfortable with who I am, but hope they can still admire something about me, even from a distance.

Why wait until I’m 60 before I do what I want? I’m going to find my edge a little every day so that by the time I am 60 I can be ruling the world with my wild.

Yes, I am putting my nudie photos right next to my “Cooking with Nonna” food blogs, why because my life is exactly all of that.

Welcome to my edge.